In the last week, I ‘ve recieved three books in the mail as part of the Catalyst Filter package thing I paid for ;). It’s pretty cool to get books in the mail out of nowhere. Friday, I received the book, “Looking for God” by Nancy Ortberg. Today I read it straight through, only breaking for a meeting with the Influx Leaders.

I have to say this book was perfect for me right now. The inside cover states, “…We box God up and compartamentalize Him into thirty minutes each morning. But in reality, He is waiting for us to realize that He invades all the parts of our days…if only we would just pay attention. That is what Looking For God is all about.”

The book started off pretty basic. I went into the book craving a list of “how-to” meet with God, but instead you just get stories. Stories that send you back, essentially, looking for God again. I am hungry for God.

I feel God’s presence a lot. I’ve learned how to reach out and tug on God’s Presence to come. The problem I have is that I am the one reaching out to tug on God. It’s almost like grabbing Abby to hug her when I need her to hug me. I’m the one putting my arm around her and pulling her close. I can’t really call that her reaching out to love me. The moment that I stop pulling on her, and she reaches out to pull on me and embraces me so much that I can completely rest my head on her shoulder, is the moment when she is loving me.

I just have a hard time trusting that God will reach out and love me like that. I’m trying to change. I know where it comes from though. It comes from a father who was working while I was a child, doing what he that was best–providing for his family. It also comes from a father who isn’t really affectionate, a father who almost never expresses emotion. It seems as though we all have a problem reconciling our natural father and our Father In Heaven.

I know that it’s possible to know that love that I missed as a child, and I’m determined to stop pushing and grabbing on God. I’m resolved to just wait, and believe that He will come and love me, even though I don’t know what that is like.

Here’s a few quotes from the book:

“If we ignore the longings and cover them over with platitudes about blessings, we lose. We mis a chance to apply God to our lives. He becomes a cliche’ and we, a joke” (154) .

“If we face them, our longings, aches, and pains take us to an alone place. Perhaps that is why we avoid them. But if we refuse to avoid them, we find what is true about the alone place.

That is isn’t alone” (155).

John 16:32 “You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.”

Conclusion: “Looking for God” is one of the best books I’ve read as a Christian. It reignites the simplicity of a relationship with God, reminds you of the simplicity of loving God and loving each other, and it requires you to again go back and be with God…all day long.